HOW TO RECOGNIZE
THE HOLE OF NO HOPE
Rebecca’s story is like many who wind up in the “Hole of No Hope.” She was a tall, slender very personable 26-year-old student who was just a few months away from graduating from a very prestigious medical school. A promising and lucrative career as a pediatrician called to her from the future. But for Rebecca the call of this life long dream had so much “emotional static” on the line that it looked like her purpose in life was about to be disconnected. Her heart was sick. She was in the “pits” or as we call it, “The Hole of No Hope.” The Bible reminds us that, “Hope deferred maketh the heart sick…” Proverbs 13:12. Her hope for graduating was being deferred and derailed because of low
grades. Her low grades were the result of too much emotional “clutter” in her life. The emotional clutter in her life began with a painful event when she was thirteen. She had all the characteristics of a person whose life was being turned upside down and dropped into the “Hole of No Hope.” Her early warning signs seemed common and somewhat normal for today’s society. She had struggles with anorexia and bulimia. This eating disorder began when she was thirteen. She had nightmares. She had occasional panic
attacks. She had headaches and from time to time heard voices. It was hard for her to concentrate because of the confusion that came from such a cluttered mind. Soon, the signs increased in strength and severity to the
point that she had attempted to take her life. She wanted to escape the feelings of being doomed to failure. What caused Rebecca to get to this point in her life? What was happening, or what was missing, to bring her to the point of contemplating taking her own life?
The "HOLE" truth
The Bible reveals that God has made humans with two basic emotional needs.
Carl was a young stepson that consistently had problems with his other siblings. His standard declaration about his treatment in the family was, “its not fair.” Frequently Carl’s sleep at night was filled with nightmares, sleepwalking, and crying out loudly. All of which he seldom remembered. Carl was thought of as “odd” and “out of step” by his peers and teachers in
the social arena of his life. He had obsessive, compulsive, eating habits and destroyed property with bursts of anger. All this helped put his parents on a false guilt trip with feelings of being failures. How can several children
be raised in the same Christian family, same parents, and one goes the wrong way and the others go the right way? The key is, their interpretation of the hurtful events in life. Carl’s feelings that life “was not fair” had secret
roots in very painful events he experience in his younger years. Little did his family know about the terrible things his biological father had subjected him to before the divorce and remarriage of his mom to his Step dad. Carl
had also met Rebecca’s elevator operator, Satan, through the occult involvement that his biological dad initiated him into. Carl had
experienced many hurts at the hand of his dad. He had believed many lies as a result of the hurts he had experienced. All hurts can be traced back to a lie that was believed. Carl believed the lie, “If God loved me why did He
let this happen to me?” A lie is a wrong interpretation of the adverse or painful events in our life (Romans 8:28). A lie is always built around jealousy or envy, which is produced by the “fear of loss” or “the desire of gain.” Carl’s wrong view of needing to get his security and significance from his dad left him continually struggling with the desire for gain or the fear of loss in that regard. His envy and jealousy moved him to frequently announce, “it’s not
fair”, at home. The following Biblical characters provide a few examples of the numerous illustrations of this fact in scripture.
The "HOLE" Truth
The greatest power Satan has over a person is in the strength of a lie.
Alex was a prime example of the two main characteristics of bitterness. He was an illegitimate child born out of wedlock, living with his mom in a single parent home. His estranged dad would occasionally show up for
sexual favors from his mom. Her refusal always ignited a huge explosion of cussing, screaming, throwing things, and fist fights. Four-year old Alex at times saw his mom bleeding from the face. Twice he tried to rescue his mom by standing up against his dad. His dad retaliated by knocking him
across the room. This forced Alex to find a “foxhole” in which to hide his hurt little body. As his mom submitted to the sexual demands of his father, the war would subside. His signal to come out of hiding and comfort his mom was when he heard the front door shut, as his father left. On that one life-changing day he was unable to comfort his mom. She was lying on the floor and he couldn’t wake her up. She was dead. Little Alex moved in with his grandmother, later an aunt, then other relatives, and then finally several foster homes. Now, in his twenties, he strongly revealed the two characteristics of bitterness. Like a coin, bitterness has two sides-heads and tails. The
heads side always shows up as anger, the tails side as depression. The world refers to this as bi-polar. As the earth has a North Pole and a South Pole, a bi-polar person is one who fluctuates between the “north pole” of anger and the “south pole” of depression. Bi-polar people are always bitter about something. Today our society is full of angry and or depressed people. They have been hurt in life. Without God’s wisdom, we are left to deal with the hurts of life by using the many erroneous “coping” mechanisms that today’s humanistic psychiatry has to offer. The continual use of coping mechanisms, become “habits to hide the hurts” that we don’t know how to heal. To help man get over the symptoms of his hurt, three distinct philosophy groups have emerged.
The "Hole" Truth
Like a coin bitterness has two sides
Heads and Tails...Anger and Depression
Nancy, a licensed beautician, was being slapped, hit and pushed around by her husband. They were both nominal church attendees. She was given the following FIVE STEPS of appeal to carry out. The problem was solved. FIRST, we told her to appeal with a humble spirit, to her abusive husband to stop his abuse. If that fails, and it did, SECONDLY, appeal to his father, by informing him of the problem. If that fails… THIRD, appeal to her father. If her husband will not listen to them then… FOURTH, appeal to her Pastor. The Pastor should talk with him about the three-stage principle of Matthew 18. “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.” Matthew 18:15-17. But if he will not hear the church… FIFTH, take it to the law enforcement agencies. God has designed them to be “the ministers of God to thee for good.” Romans 13:1-4. In Nancy’s case the problem was solved when she took the appeal all the way to her Pastor. Nancy’s husband faced the reality of his problem and received spiritual help. Nancy’s story is an illustration of being able to change a situation. At times, situations do not have the same good outcome as Nancy’s experience. Either way, we can be sure that God has a purpose behind all He allows. If physical safety is still in question, temporary, physical separation may be warranted.
The Lord has led the author down a rich, but challenging path of
personal experiences in preparation for his ministry and the authorship of his book.
Tom Sooter was saved and called to preach while employed as a Vice Detective in Kansas City, Mo. He has been senior Pastor for 25 years.
The Lord has used him across America as Conference Speaker, Author, and Counselor.
Because of his personal experiences and calling Bro. Sooter's heart is to
provide private and confidential counseling to those in full time Christian service.
"Help Out Of The Hole of No Hope"
is proven help for those who feel helpless and hopeless!
here to purchase the book